For every innovation, there is an opposing one.
It will try to take the buyers, the bloggers, and a share of the market.
Sony is The Slayer.
SCENE: Sonydale High School: the library. Sony, a cheer-reader, has transferred into the school just before the winter break. She enters the emply library, where she has been told she can pick up her textbooks.
Sony: “Hello?”
A tall British gentleman with glasses addresses her.
Librarian: “Hello, Sony.”
Sony: “How did you know who I am?”
Librarian: “It’s a small town. There are very few readers in it.”
Sony: “Who are you?”
Librarian: “I’m OverGiles, the librarian. I believe I have what you need here.”
OverGiles puts a large, leatherbound book on the counter. It appears to be very old, and in fancy script is titled, “To Kill a Kyndle.”
Sony: “Don’t get all Oberon on me with your Gucci book bag. I’m just here to get my textbooks.”
OverGiles: “Readers don’t have textbooks. And you know what a Kindle is. You’ve faced them before.”
Sony: “Maybe I have, and maybe I don’t want to do it again. Maybe I just want to mind my own business.”
OverGiles: “But Sony, Kindles are your business. You know you’ll have to face them eventually.”
Sony: “Why don’t you do it?”
OverGiles: “I am only the librarian. However, I can help you. Together, we can defeat them. The Kindles don’t have a librarian.”
Sony: “Yes, and I’m sure that’s what all the cool kids care about.”
OverGiles: “The Cool-er kids don’t have a librarian, either.”
Sony: “Funny. I was here before the Kindles, but they totally took over my table in the cafeteria. What chance do I have?”
OverGiles: “You have a touch screen.”
Sony: “Skeevy, much. I think I’ll go hang with the Playstations. Gotta e-book.”
OverGiles: “Wait! Don’t abandon hope yet. I have recently found a way to give you a wireless connection.”
Sony: “You mean, I’ll be able to go anywhere I want, just like the Kindles?”
OverGiles: “Well, no. But you will be able to get books without a cable…”
Sony: “I can get Pride and Prejudice while they’re on Facebook? Yes, that is the same. Look, I’ll think it over.”
Sony turns and leaves. In the hallway, she bumps into a small reader, knocking her over. Sony helps her back up:
Small reader (in a quiet, mousy voice): “Oh, I’m sorry. I should have looked where I was standing.”
Sony: “It was my fault. You don’t need to apologize.”
Small reader: “Oh, sorry.”
Sony: “What’s your name?”
Small reader: “I’m Plastic Willogic. Thank you for helping me up. You’d better get going. You may not want to be seen with me.”
Sony: “Let me worry about that. Who’s your friend?”
Willogic: “Oh, I’m sorry, I should have introduced him. I was just so distracted, what with the falling and all. He’s IRexander.”
Sony: “Hello.”
IRexander (smiling): “That’s the most a Sony has said to me all year. You don’t mind if I write that down, do you?”
Sony: “Suit yourself.”
IRexander: “Listen, I couldn’t help overhearing what you were saying with the librarian. Well, I could have, but I didn’t. Are you really going to fight the Kindles all by yourself?”
Sony: “Well, if you two aren’t doing anything, I could use some help.”
IRexander: “Not doing something is one of the things I do best.”
Willogic: “Don’t mind him. Would you really want us to help you?”
Sony: “Sure! I think we could be a great team! What good is Scooby without Shaggy and Velma?”
IRexander: “Wait. Which one am I?”
Sony (to Willogic): “Does he do that all the time?”
Willogic: “Yes. He thinks he’s funny. He might be…I’m not a very good judge of humor.”
Sony: “Come on, you two. Let’s go back and see OverGiles. This looks like the start of a beautiful friendship.”
IRexander: “And a horrible battle which none us might survive.”
Willogic (to Sony): “Is that true?”
Sony: “It isn’t not true. But look: has school ever been anything else for you?”
Willogic smiles slightly and shakes her head no. The three of them re-enter the library. OverGiles is putting a book on a shelf, and speaks as he turns.
OverGiles: “May I help you?”
Sony: “That’s what you wanted to do five minutes ago, right?’
OverGiles: “Sony! I’m so pleased you’ve returned. Have you made a decision?”
Sony: “We have. These are my friends.”
Sony, Willogic, and IRexander smile. After a hesitation, OverGiles joins them.
THE END
This post by Bufo Calvin originally appeared in the I Love My Kindle blog.
September 15, 2009 at 1:08 am |
Oh, Bufo, you’ve done it again! This was hilarious and clever. Witty, sneaky, and subtle, too. Hee hee. In addition to that, for some unknown reason, I liked the “Not doing something is one of the things I do best” line, which can apply to many people and things.
I have been enjoying your blog and find it very informative. It’s obvious to me that you spend a lot of time doing a great deal of research as well and I just wanted to say that I appreciate all the information and perspectives you share here – Thank you!
September 15, 2009 at 1:32 am |
Thanks, LuvMyKindle!
Gee, does going back and watching the first four episodes of Buffy really count as research? ;)
Actually, the one that’s been a ton of research is the Google settlement…still reading through the associated material.
I did like that line, too! I was inspired by the snarkiness in the original series. I kind of thought I had “Willogic”‘s cadence better, but that IRexander may have gotten the best line…
Thanks again!
September 17, 2009 at 3:10 am |
As someone who loves both the Kindle and Buffy, I salute you. :)
February 7, 2014 at 2:31 pm |
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