“Internal liffe? This SUX!!!!”

“Internal liffe? This SUX!!!!”

NOTE: The following is a work of fiction.  It’s just for fun.  🙂  To my knowledge, no similar announcement has been made or is anticipated.  Of course, people would not really react in the manners depicted…  😉

Initial post: August 28, 2022 0843 AM PDT

Official Announcement: Five-year clinical trials have recently been completed on a pharmaceutical that will block the genetic cell degradation instructions that bring about aging.  Distribution is expected next Spring, and will result in the end of aging and death from old age.

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0843 AM PDT

4Efan says: Thank you!  This is wonderful news!

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0843 AM PDT

DocSavageGal says: Yes, thanks!

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0844 AM PDT

Curmudgeon the Frog says: This is really unfair!  I just paid for a Botox treatment!!!  Now Im just going to loose that money!?  U o me.

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0844 AM PDT

unknown poster says: I refuse to take the treatment.  This is clearly just a plot by the so-called President to get us to buy more consumer goods.  I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the makers of Depends are behind this.

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0844 AM PDT

Grammer Moses says: @Curmie: it isn’t “loose”, it’s “lose”…unless you mean your money is going to run around free.

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0844 AM PDT

Pat the science fiction writer I wrote my book buy it now says: If you are interested in the ethics of immortality, you will enjoy my book Till Death Do We Smart. 

Pat Clark Heinbury
Author of Till Death Do We Smart
Available online

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0845 AM PDT

Pedantie Maim says: @grammer, maybe you should just shut up if you can’t correct people correctly!  It isn’t “run free”, it’s “run freely”.  Some people are so rude…jerk!

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0845 AM PDT

fluffybunniehead says: Why do these threads always get into arguments?  I think it’s wonderful that people will no longer have to worry about gettting older.  Not that there is anything wrong with being old, of course!

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0847 AM PDT

Guy from Place says: How i stop dog from peeing on cowch?

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0848 AM PDT

Loves OTR says: I’m 87 and I can’t wait to be twenty again!

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0848 AM PDT

 Equal Librium says: @ Loves OTR, it’s not going to make you any younger, you’ll just be able to stay the same age.

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0848 AM PDT

Im always write says: Hey, moron Off Topic Reader!  They can’t make you younger.  That’s stoopid! 

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0851 AM PDT

Pedantie Maim says: @Im always write, OTR stands for Old Time Radio, N00B!  If you don’t know understand the topic, you should go back under your bridge!

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0852 AM PDT

Rescues rotties says: Guy from Place, you should come join us at dub dub dub itsadogthingyouwouldntunderstand dot com.   Your dog is probably just marking his terittory, but he cold have a bladder probem.

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0853 AM PDT

Soccer isn’t football says: we aren’t meant to live forever.

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0854 AM PDT

Marches to a different number says: A simple economic analysis (which appears to be absent in this case) reveals the potentially dystopian impact of the instituation of a universally applied Methuselah medicine.  Countries which now have a lower median age (typically due to a reduced availabiity of geriatric care) will be disproportionately advantaged over those of their historically economically more empowered competitors.  This will result in the inversion of the current national hierarchy, which, while potentially advantageous for some, will be unacceptable to the Fitzgeraldian elite.  One possible consequence will be the forced resettling of those over 57.5 years of age to countries where the top tier age cohort averages fewer than four decades.  

Posted on: August 28, 2022 0912 AM PDT

Me says: Hey, did anybody hear anything about something that keeps you from getting old?

===

Note: This is just for fun…any similarity to actual screen names is coincidental.  Why is this in a blog on e-book reading?  I was inspired by some of the threads I’m seeing about the new Kindle 3s

This post by Bufo Calvin originally appeared in the I Love My Kindle blog.

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10 Responses to ““Internal liffe? This SUX!!!!””

  1. angie Says:

    Spot on! I recognize those people!

  2. Mey Says:

    Bufo, this is hilarious! This truly sounds like one of the threads I’ve seen. My favorite was Curmudgeon the Frog. : )

    • bufocalvin Says:

      Thanks for writing, Mey!

      I had fun writing it. 🙂 They aren’t based on any specific people…more archetypes, I guess. I liked Curmie, too. 🙂

  3. Deb Says:

    This was “wickedly” funny, I loved it! I’m glad you let me know it was a fiction or I might have thought I got onto the boards by accident…

    • bufocalvin Says:

      Thanks for writing, Deb!

      I’m glad you liked it! I know not everybody likes it when I do that kind of thing on the blog…but some do. 🙂 I learned a while back to identify things as fiction…it’s not always obvious.

  4. Karin Says:

    What a great way to start my day. This blog was so true, and so funny. You have described the Kindle Forum to a tee. Thanks for giving me a laugh this morning

  5. David Derrico Says:

    Very nicely done! There does seem to be a certain distasteful pattern to Internet forums, reviews, or comments. I appreciated your humorous take on it.

    • bufocalvin Says:

      Thanks for writing, David!

      I’m guessing the screen names might have appealed to you a bit…pun and pun alike, after all. 😉

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