If ads did appear in e-books…

If ads did appear in e-books…

Amazon has recently announced a  new ad-supported Kindle with a lower cost.  This does not mean that there will be ads in e-books: they are clear that the ads will be on the “screensavers” and at the bottom of the homescreen where you select the books.  However, some people are just hearing “ads” and “books” and conflating the two.  I heard Nicole Lapin on MSNBC make a joke: “Call me Ishmael…and buy a new car.”  I thought of  a one-up right away, and that got me thinking of ads within other classic books…

“Call me Ishmael…on my Evo 4G: quietly brilliant.”

–Moby Dick by Herman Melville, brought to you by HTC

“O Romeo, O Romeo, wherefore* art thou Romeo?
Check-in on Foursquare and reveal thy place…”

–Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, brought to you by Foursquare

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…and thanks to my Blackberry Storm, I never missed an appointment.”

–A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, brought to you by Research in Motion

“To be, or not to be..that is the question.  Find your answers with Bing, the decision maker.”

Hamlet by William Shakespeare, brought to you by Microsoft

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
Some vacay where the gnome doth go
Travelocity for low cost”

The Lord of the Rings by J.RR. Tolkien, brought to you by Travelocity

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.  It’s a free communication weekend on eHarmony.com, with six hundred variables to maximize compatibility.”

Gone with the Wind** by Margaret Mitchell, brought to you by eHarmony

“Beauty would save the world.  Covergirl: express your beautiful.”

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky, brought to you by Covergirl

“I know who I was when I got up this morning but I must have been changed several times since then.  Pampers…when you need a change.”

–Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, brought to you by Proctor & Gamble


There are a few to get you started.  The only slogan I made up from scratch was the Proctor & Gamble one: I couldn’t find a good slogan for Pampers.  These are parodies, of course. 

* I know “wherefore” here actually means “why”…but that wouldn’t stop a company from buying an ad for the common understanding of “where”

** Is Gone with the Wind a classic?  Arguable, but I thought it fit this post 😉

Do you have any of your own?  Feel free to leave them in the comments for this post…that would be fun!

This post by Bufo Calvin originally appeared in the I Love My Kindle blog.



7 Responses to “If ads did appear in e-books…”

  1. Emanuel Maia Says:

    Romeo and Juliet and Foursquare was the best. 🙂

    People dislike the problems that ads in Kindle will cause.
    For example, if I were a Vegan, have a Nestle ad it will make me fell disgusted. If I were a catholic, condoms ads will make me discomfortable.

    I don´t know if AdMash can neutralize and filter ads for that my Kindle has only my needs.

    • bufocalvin Says:

      Thanks for writing, Emanuel!

      Well, we have the same problem with television ads, and they aren’t filtered in that way. Of course, it’s different because the content on our Kindles is specific, but I don’t know of a way to do that. What would stop someone from coming up with so many filters they saw no ads? If you say you can have so many filters and no more, then you can’t block ones that might offend you.

      It’s complicated…

  2. Common Sense Says:

    Thanks for the chuckle! I’m not creative enough to come up with one of my own, but if the ads really were cleaver like this, it would be tempting to get the new Kindle just for that reason.

  3. Lady Galaxy Says:

    How about:

    “Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference. I should have pushed my OnStar button earlier.”

    Collected Works of Robert Frost brought to you by General Motors.

  4. Retroplugging: putting new ads in old TV shows « The Measured Circle Says:

    […] If ads did appear in e-books […]

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