AFD News: “Amazon buys the English language”

AFD News: “Amazon buys the English language”

April 1, 2013 (AFD News)

Amazon (AMZN) announced today that it had purchased the English language from Webster & Johnson, for an undisclosed amount.

“We are pleased to become part of the Amazon family,” said Nosam Johnster, current CEO. “We want to assure our customers that we will continue to operate English, and do not anticipate any major changes. Amazon brings us the additional resources that we need to stay preeminent in a changing marketplace.”

Industry speculation is that this purchase comes in light of recent advances by Japanese in the global market.

While Amazon has not said anything specific about changes it might make, it is known to have had a light hand in other acquisitions. Despite a recent rumor from, it seems unlikely that the e-tailer would standardize the language across countries. As pointed out by Geebee Shaw in the New York Times, the current situation of being able to have multiple versions of the same book for different markets is likely a moneymaker for the e-tailer.

The Best Authors Haven (BAH) has issued a statement declaring that they were exploring legal options to counter the move, and that the end of the world was upon us.

The news comes on the heels of Apple’s recent buy of the language now styled iTaliano, and Google’s announcement that it was discontinuing support for its language platform, Esperanto, on July 27th.


Happy April Fool’s Day! 🙂

Update: you might also find this AmazonLocal deal interesting:

AmazonLocal deal for today

Update: thanks to my reader Bailey for this one:

Update: in a case of apparent parallel creativity, author Michael Bourne also published a piece this morning on Amazon purchasing English…

Amazon Announces Purchase of English™

This post by Bufo Calvin originally appeared in the I Love My Kindle blog.

10 Responses to “AFD News: “Amazon buys the English language””

  1. Deb Schmalz Says:

    You rascal. What a witty piece! I especially liked the e-tailer. Thank you for making me laugh first thing in the morning.

  2. ktbags3 Says:

    LOL!!! You definitely made me do a double take! You got me! I totally didn’t think about today being April Fool’s, great job!! 🙂

  3. Joe Bowers Says:

    I see what you did there! Nice ones, especially like Geebee Shaw and “iTaliano!” Happy April 1!

  4. tellthetruth1 Says:

    Hahahahahaha! But you’re too late mate. I’ve only just read this’un. 😉 Awesome.

  5. Bailey Says:

    Ha! Very nice April Fool’s day prank! Fortunately, I got it at once, because Google already fooled me and I was on the lookout.

    By the way, have you seen their’s? It would be quite cool if it were real…

    • Bufo Calvin Says:

      Thanks for writing, Bailey!

      I hadn’t, but it’s cute…I added Amazon’s into my post, I’ll add that one, too. Thanks again!

  6. Lady Galaxy Says:

    Darn! I wish I had known it were up for sale. I would have used my Double Super Duper Powder Bowl Lottery winnings to bid on it myself. I could do so much to standardize the spelling.

    Thanks for the chuckle on the day that elementary school teachers hope falls on a Sunday or during Spring Break, and the day on which retired teachers think about one more thing they don’t miss now that they’re retired.

  7. Marvin Says:

    Hello Bufo. This was funny, but I think even better (and right on e-books topic) was on, have a look

  8. Steve Says:

    Actually, it’s too late. Microsoft has already taken ownership of English, as anyone who has used MS Word without turning off the grammar checks soon realizes.

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