In a future English class
Teechur14: Hi, stoodunts! This week’s grat* is bout a buk I red wen I wuz smal: The Wizard of Oz. Bleev, I red it as a buk mayd out of paper. 2day, u reed it as a ap. Hoo haz sumthing 2 say?
Stoodunt8: I red part of it.
Teechur14: How far r u?
Stoodunt8: The Tin Man, the lyon, and me r at the Wizard.
Teechur14: Gud! Hold…wayr is the scayrcro?
Stoodunt8: I cudnt get him of the pol.
Teechur14: Y not?
Stoodunt8: I wuz 2 short.
Teechur14: Dorothy shud be tal enuf.
Stoodunt8: I playd as a munchkin.
Stoodunt8: Mor fun. Dorothy dint no aneething. Shes not frum Oz.
Stoodunt93: Teechur14, I red the hol buk! I red it in th old Murkin.
Teechur14: I can cownt on u! Doo u no how 2 spel Murkin in Murkin?
Stoodunt 93: A M E R I C A N.
Teechur14: Gud!!! Did u hav ?s?
Stoodunt93: Buk kewl. ? Wer Dorothy’s garsibs** seks wurkers?
Teechur14: No, thay wer farmers. Member we tawked bout farming?
Stoodunt93: Y. U gro food. I thawt that wuz onlee in open plases, not al city like Kansas.
Teechur14: Kansas wuz open in old daz. Y seks workers?
Stoodunt93: They lived in “ho use”. I thot that was seks plas.
Teechur14: Thats how they speld “hows”.
Teechur14: NE1 els?
Teechur14: Stoodent 11? U red buk?
Stoodent11: Y. Startd.
Teechur14: How u lik Oz?
Stoodent11: I stayd in Dorothys hows. Dunno Oz.
Teechur14: U dint want 2 splor?
Stoodent11: I dont go outsid IRL***. 2 skary.
Stoodent 43: I beet 1st bos. Hows fel on wich.
Teechur14: Y. NEthing els?
Stoodent43: I met platypussy…kat with beek.
Teechur14: I don member platypussy wen I red buk.
Stoodent43: U mus not hav unlokd. I pade 1000 koins for it.
Teechur14: K. Nks, klas. Nx week: The Odsee.
* grat = “group chat”
** garsib = “guardian siblings”…instead of “Aunt” and “Uncle”
*** IRL = “In Real Life”…that one is in use today, the other two I made up for this post
For this post, I was thinking about what happens when books become more interactive. What will an English class be like when the book is a different experience for everyone who reads it, the way that videogames are now? That’s certainly one possible way for things to evolve, although I don’t think the traditional narrative will vanish.
It was really hard to write in my revised spelling and lingo! I tried to simplify spelling, somewhat the way that Noah Webster tried in some ways to make it easier. I dropped duplicate letters, for example. I also eliminated apostrophes.
Well, I hope you had fun with that…or at least, that it didn’t make you violently ill! 😉 If you have any questions about the dialog, feel free to ask. 🙂
This post by Bufo Calvin originally appeared in the I Love My Kindle blog. To support this or other blogs/organizations, buy Amazon Gift Cards from a link on the site, then use those to buy your items. There will be no cost to you, and a benefit to them.