Clash of The Tech Titans
April 1, 2014 (AFD News)
The Atari Network is launching its original television programming slate with a reality competition show, Clash of The Tech Titans (CoT3).
Hosted by software pioneer and international fugitive John McAfee (via Skype from Belize, Montreal, and other exotic locations), the program pits top executives from today’s leading technology companies in wacky contests to see who will come out on top.
Celebrity contestants announced for the first season are:
- Russ Grandinetti (Amazon): “I’ve testified before Congress…this should be a piece of cake (which we can deliver to you via AmazonFresh).”
- Eddy Cue (Apple): “I don’t remember any conversation in which I agreed to be on this show.”
- Randi Zuckerberg (formerly of Facebook): “As a Marketing Director, I’ll make you think you won…even if you’ve only been liked.”
While the show is still in the production phase (and may be until Atari can figure out where they are going to show it), a proposed episode guide has appeared on various tech blogs:
- “IPO-oh”: in the pilot episode, the “contechtants” have to get investors to put money into their companies. Showing a profit is not allowed
- “OOPs-date”: Contechtants must update their software in a way that breaks the most existing functions, introduces new and confusing features, and loses them the lowest number of customers
- “Just Another Manic Merger”: Contechtants compete to buy the weirdest companies for the most money. During the secret filming of this episode, Amazon bought Kiva, an industrial robot company, for $775 million; Google bought Boston Dynamics, a military robot company, for an undisclosed amount; and Facebook bought Oculus Rift, a virtual reality company for $2 billion. SPOILER ALERT: Boy Genius Report obtained a shooting script showing the win going to Facebook
- “Don’t Burn Your Bus Bridges”: Contechtants face a panel to defend their past actions. Celebrity guest judges include Steve Wozniak, and Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss (the “Winklevii”)
Contechtants are competing for a donation to a charity of their choice, a blog post on Wired, an Atari 2600, and a 25% marketshare for one year.
Happy April Fool’s Day! 🙂
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