If the alphabet was an operating system…

If the alphabet was an operating system…

December 9, 2016 (AFD News)

LitTech blog OPtimaLetter News has published a screenshot of what it claims to be details about the next release of Alphabeta (formerly known as “The Alphabet”) which appeared briefly on an investors’ website before it was deleted.

If accurate, the sixth iteration since the incorporation in 2007 will streamline the alphabet while introducing some new features reflecting globalization.

Here are some key points:

  • The letter “c” will be eliminated. This has been anticipated, since it is redundant with the letters “s” and “k”. Books still being published and using the operating system will be updated with the new spellings. The change will be introduced in an online video of singer Tito Jackson performing “ABD”
  • The letter “z” will return to its original position, sixth from the beginning. That was the seventh position, but it will move up one slot with the elimination of the letter “c”. The screenshot cites the success of other retro consumer products, including the Nintendo Entertainment System: NES Classic Edition (an AmazonSmile: benefit a non-profit of your choice by shopping*) as an influencing factor. OPtimaLetter speculates that this would create yet another battle with Amazon, since it would affect the e-tailer’s current “A to Z” smile logo
  • To further globalize Alphabeta (which is actually only one of several alphabets in use worldwide), the company will include the letters ñ (from Spanish, and pronounced like “ny” as in “canyon” and “щ ” (from the Cyrillic alphabet, pronounced “shch” as in “fresh cheese”) as part of the core set
  • A pricing sheet, partially visible, suggests that emojis will still be sold separately as part of expansion packs

Alphabeta has not responded to requests for comments on the story. New versions have typically been announced in February, to allow lead time prior to the summer reading season and the autumn school year start.

Note: this post is humor. AFD News is short for “April Fool’s Day News” which I normally use on April 1st, although I have used it before outside of that day. “Z” really was in the seventh position, as I understand it. Tito Jackson is part of the Jackson Five, who had a hit with “ABC”. I first heard that pronunciation of щ as “fresh cheese” when I took Russian in high school

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* I am linking to the same thing at the regular Amazon site, and at AmazonSmile. When you shop at AmazonSmile, half a percent of your purchase price on eligible items goes to a non-profit you choose. It will feel just like shopping at Amazon: you’ll be using your same account. The one thing for you that is different is that you pick a non-profit the first time you go (which you can change whenever you want)…and the good feeling you’ll get. :) Shop ’til you help! :) 

This post by Bufo Calvin originally appeared in the I Love My Kindle blog. To support this or other blogs/organizations, buy  Amazon Gift Cards from a link on the site, then use those to buy your items. There will be no cost to you, and a benefit to them.

3 Responses to “If the alphabet was an operating system…”

  1. Lady Galaxy Says:

    If it weren’t for the snow on the ground, I would have been double checking my calendar to see if I’d finally achieved my goal of hibernating through the winter.

    I am definitely an advocate for fixing the mess of our alphabet! I didn’t realize just how bad it is until I started trying to help young children learn to read. I agree the C is redundant because it can be replaced by S and K. We still need the c for the ch digraph, so perhaps it would be more prudent to eliminate the K.

    • Bufo Calvin Says:

      Thanks for writing, Lady!

      I think a new single letter for “ch” probably makes sense…the idea of needing two letters to make a common sound seems strange. I think spelling a word like “trucker” as “trucer” would be harder for people than spelling it as “truker”. People would probably want to pronounce that as “true-kur”, though, where they wouldn’t do that with two “k”s: “trukker”. That also seems wasteful. I suppose using diacritical marks to change the pronunciation of vowels would be smartest.

      It’s important to note that I didn’t expect Alphabeta to come up with the best solutions…I thought changing the position of “z” was a silly idea. 🙂 I did that one, in part, because OS upgrades often make things hard to find for no good reason…

  2. Manage My kindle account Says:

    nice post

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