AFD News: Rigmarole Town selected as site of Amazon’s HQ2

AFD News: Rigmarole Town selected as site of Amazon’s HQ2

April 1 ,2018 (AFD News)

Ever since Amazon announced its search for a location for a second corporate headquarters, cities have been competing for what is believed could result in 50,000 local jobs.

While recent reporting has suggested that Atlanta, Boston, or a Virginia site were frontrunners, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced today that Rigmarole Town, a small planned community, has been selected.

“We are excited to announce that Rigmarole Town will be the location of our second corporate headquarters,” said Bezos. “We look forward to the unique opportunities this community will present to help us continue our mission of being the world’s most customer oriented company.”

The announcement came as a surprise to many reporters. Rigmarole Town does not have a nearby airport or other mass transit, although it is located on a major road. There is no notable industry in the area.

It’s believed that Amazon plans to take advantage of other resources in the surrounding Quadling country, and in the rest of the Land of Oz.

Bezos was believed to have met with various well-known figures in the months prior to the decision:

  • Professor H.M. Woggle-Bug, T.E., founder of the Royal College of Art and Athletic Perfection. As with other cities competing for HQ2, the presence of a college community has been seen as a plus. The RCAAP is known for its innovative learning techniques, and getting into advanced education has long been a goal of the Seattle-based e-tailer
  • Johnny Dooit, who provides on-demand construction and repair, which lines up with Amazon’s Home Services goals
  • General Jinjur (ret.), a former mayor of the central Emerald City (not to be confused with Seattle, also referred to as the Emerald City), and known for her organizational skills. Initial speculation suggests that Jinjur may be the local manager of HQ2

Princess Ozma was not present at today’s announcement. Ozma founded Rigmarole Town as one of a number of social engineering projects. Two representatives of Ozma’s “cabinet” did release statements. Dorothy Gale, who is a dual citizen of the USA and Oz, said that she was looking forward to the fresh perspectives which the move would bring to Rigmarole Town. Oscar Diggs, a former executive of the Emerald City, responded to questions about the cloaking technology he had created for the Land of Oz, and how that might impact transportation logistics. “The privacy system can be adjusted to allow the necessary commerce, and only that.”

Two other factors which are believed to have tipped the balance in favor of the previously low profile location are the diversity and the tech-friendly nature of the Land of Oz. Oz boasts a uniquely high number of female executives, in addition to full representation for non-meat people and non-human animals. Ozma’s key advisers include the formerly meat Nick Chopper (the “Tin Woodman”), the Scarecrow, and The Cowardly Lion and Hungry Tiger. Tik-Tok, a robot, is also commonly present at the highest level meetings. Tik-Tok was created by Smith & Tinker, located in the nearby country of Ev, and possesses significant artificial intelligence (when properly wound up). His speaking voice is stilted, and Boy Genius Report has released what appears to be an internal memo about upgrading him with Amazon’s Alexa. As previously noted, Diggs was a pioneer in what we now call cellphones. Oz is also particularly strong in information technology, including the Magic Picture and the Great Book of Records.

No timeline has been stated for opening HQ2. If Glinda the Good, rumored to be the power behind Ozma, becomes involved, progress could be rapid. The only statement from Glinda’s castle was…

APRIL FOOL!


This year, I decided to go with one which wasn’t as subtle. I doubt I will have fooled very many people for long, which is fine with me. I think of April Fools’ Day as being more about having fun then deception.

As to Rigmarole Town, it appears in The Emerald City of Oz, the sixth book in the

original Oz series (at AmazonSmile: benefit a non-profit of your choice by shopping*)

People who haven’t read the original series, which I really enjoy, sometimes have the mistaken impression that the books are saccharine, and that everything is sweetness and light.

Rigmarole Town is an example of when Baum is being..snarky. Ozma does make sweeping social changes after becoming ruler. It is clearly part of what makes Ozma beloved by most residents of Oz (and visitors to it), but some of the practices would certainly be challenged were they to be instituted outside of Oz.

Here is the visit to Rigmarole Town from the book (which is in the public domain):

As the Sawhorse drew the wagon into the main street the travelers noticed that the place was filled with people, standing in groups and seeming to be engaged in earnest conversation. So occupied with themselves were the inhabitants that they scarcely noticed the strangers at all. So the Wizard stopped a boy and asked:

“Is this Rigmarole Town?”

“Sir,” replied the boy, “if you have traveled very much you will have noticed that every town differs from every other town in one way or another and so by observing the methods of the people and the way they live as well as the style of their dwelling places it ought not to be a difficult thing to make up your mind without the trouble of asking questions whether the town bears the appearance of the one you intended to visit or whether perhaps having taken a different road from the one you should have taken you have made an error in your way and arrived at some point where–”

“Land sakes!” cried Aunt Em, impatiently; “what’s all this rigmarole about?”

“That’s it!” said the Wizard, laughing merrily. “It’s a rigmarole because the boy is a Rigmarole and we’ve come to Rigmarole Town.”

“Do they all talk like that?” asked Dorothy, wonderingly.

“He might have said ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and settled the question,” observed Uncle Henry.

“Not here,” said Omby Amby. “I don’t believe the Rigmaroles know what ‘yes’ or ‘no’ means.”

While the boy had been talking several other people had approached the wagon and listened intently to his speech. Then they began talking to one another in long, deliberate speeches, where many words were used but little was said. But when the strangers criticized them so frankly one of the women, who had no one else to talk to, began an address to them, saying:

“It is the easiest thing in the world for a person to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when a question that is asked for the purpose of gaining information or satisfying the curiosity of the one who has given expression to the inquiry has attracted the attention of an individual who may be competent either from personal experience or the experience of others to answer it with more or less correctness or at least an attempt to satisfy the desire for information on the part of the one who has made the inquiry by–”

“Dear me!” exclaimed Dorothy, interrupting the speech. “I’ve lost all track of what you are saying.”

“Don’t let her begin over again, for goodness sake!” cried Aunt Em.

But the woman did not begin again. She did not even stop talking, but went right on as she had begun, the words flowing from her mouth in a stream.

“I’m quite sure that if we waited long enough and listened carefully, some of these people might be able to tell us something, in time,” said the Wizard.

“Let’s don’t wait,” returned Dorothy. “I’ve heard of the Rigmaroles, and wondered what they were like; but now I know, and I’m ready to move on.”

“So am I,” declared Uncle Henry; “we’re wasting time here.”

“Why, we’re all ready to go,” said the Shaggy Man, putting his fingers to his ears to shut out the monotonous babble of those around the wagon.

So the Wizard spoke to the Sawhorse, who trotted nimbly through the village and soon gained the open country on the other side of it. Dorothy looked back, as they rode away, and noticed that the woman had not yet finished her speech but was talking as glibly as ever, although no one was near to hear her.

“If those people wrote books,” Omby Amby remarked with a smile, “it would take a whole library to say the cow jumped over the moon.”

“Perhaps some of ’em do write books,” asserted the little Wizard. “I’ve read a few rigmaroles that might have come from this very town.”

“Some of the college lecturers and ministers are certainly related to these people,” observed the Shaggy Man; “and it seems to me the Land of Oz is a little ahead of the United States in some of its laws. For here, if one can’t talk clearly, and straight to the point, they send him to Rigmarole Town; while Uncle Sam lets him roam around wild and free, to torture innocent people.”

Dorothy was thoughtful. The Rigmaroles had made a strong impression upon her. She decided that whenever she spoke, after this, she would use only enough words to express what she wanted to say.


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* I am linking to the same thing at the regular Amazon site, and at AmazonSmile. When you shop at AmazonSmile, half a percent of your purchase price on eligible items goes to a non-profit you choose. It will feel just like shopping at Amazon: you’ll be using your same account. The one thing for you that is different is that you pick a non-profit the first time you go (which you can change whenever you want)…and the good feeling you’ll get. :) Shop ’til you help! :) 

This post by Bufo Calvin originally appeared in the I Love My Kindle blog. To support this or other blogs/organizations, buy  Amazon Gift Cards from a link on the site, then use those to buy your items. There will be no cost to you, and a benefit to them.


 

 

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